Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

It has been a rough, eventful week!  But I'm still smiling - God is still good!

I have realized many things this week.  I have realized I like working with a few troubled kids instead of ten at once.  I have realized I love structure, and that it is very hard to live and work in a place without structure.  I have learned that trying to reason with a kid that has Oppositional Defiant Disorder is like talking physics to a brick wall.  I have learned that sitting in your car at 12:30 in the morning shaking is a great workout (more on that later).  I have learned that bears like trash cans and compost piles, but are still respecting me enough to not show up when I'm around.  I have learned that when your car horn randomly goes off at 2 in the morning, you should pop the hood and disconnect the battery and leave it until the morning.  I have learned that LOVE is an important and vital part of living - when it's not there, it's really hard to function.

Cornerstone needs prayer.  The kids that are living there now have so much to learn about life, respect, and love - I don't know how it will be possible.  Maybe for some of them, it won't be possible for them to live a normal life.  My part is setting a good example for them, setting some limits, and being available to them when they need someone.  It is really hard to grasp the fact that my staff and I are the ONLY people in the world who care enough for these kids to help them.  We have a 12 year old in right now whose mom dropped him off and said, "I can't deal with him.  You keep him for three days - I'll be back Monday to see how he's doing."  The poor kid was scared to death!  I took him under my wing, and he asked me so many questions about what was going to happen to him.  Most of the kids at cornerstone are between 14 and 17 and they have multiple charges (misdemeanors and felony) and have the mouth of an outhouse.  This poor 12 year old is being corrupted, I just know it.  But we made dinner and brownies for the kids, and have good conversations.  Sadly, I can see how much influence the older kids have on him.  Hopefully he won't be too heavily influenced.

Like I said in an earlier blog, my first day was last Thursday, and since, I have worked and learned tons of valuable information.  But I still don't feel comfortable by myself and doing my job fully - I don't feel like I have the support or knowledge to deal properly with the kids.  I still divert many of the questions to my other staff.  The kids push every limit and every button known to man.  I'm on edge for eight hours straight, and it's hard to put it from my mind.  So when I get off work, I go to my car and shake and sweat until I can drive.  It's funny.  I play it off really well while I'm at work - my fight system is working well!  But when I get to the end of the day, my body says, "Enough!!!  You're done!"  It's a good workout! :-)

Funny story.  Last night, I got back from work last night and woke up my roommate.  She and I were sitting on her bed talking, and I hear a car horn go off.  I look out my window, and my car horn decided it would be good to spaz out at 1:30 in the morning.  I run down to the car, but I have no clue what to do.  I'm pushing every button I can find, turn on the car, turn off the car, drive the car on the driveway, etc. and nothing is working!  My roommate calls a friend and he says to disconnect the battery.  Great idea!  Problem is I can't find the hood opener!  I'm searching for the hood opener, looking in the manuel and finally find it.  I push the button, it unlocks, but it won't open.  I'm laughing and feeling so bad for the neighbors at this point.  I try to find the hook under the hood that opens the hood, and finally find it, cutting my fingers in the process.  Great - the hood is open!  Now what?  I try to unscrew the negative side of the battery, and it's not budging.  I run upstairs to the apartment to find a wrench, and notice that it is 2 in the morning - the horn has been going nonstop for 1/2 hour!  I run down, and try to unscrew the battery.  I succeed, and then drop the screw.  I can't find it - it's dark (side note here - it gets dark dark in Alaska around 1:45-2:45 in the morning.  Good to know...).  The horn has stopped (yay!) but the cable is still connected to the battery.  If the car moves, the horn goes off again.  The hood is open, the driver and passenger side door is open, the gas door is open (like I said, I pushed every button) and the trunk is open.  So I grab the cable from the battery to pull it off completely.  I start pulling, the horn starts going off again, and then the alarm system starts going off!  (It's really loud, by the way).  I finally get everything disconnected, and all is quiet.  So funny!

This morning, I came down to apologize to my landlords for the noise last night, and they said they didn't hear a thing - not sure how that's possible, but I was thankful!  So Mark (landlord) and Darren (Mark's son) fixed my car this morning - I'm so thankful for them!  

I continue to love the beauty here.  There are tulips everywhere here - simply amazing.  

Thank you for sending me emails and calling me - I will work to respond to them all.  Keep them coming - I love hearing about what's going on back home!  I love you and miss you!

Blessings!