Sleeping is NOT overrated...

I've had the last two days off, and I have pretty much slept through the whole two days.  I don't know if it is because I am still adjusting to the goofy hours that I work, or if it is because I am still adjusting to living here, if it is because I don't have a whole lot of things to do when I'm working, or if it is because I am truly that tired.  Yesterday, I had a training on how to distribute medication (longest 45 minutes of my life) and then went back to bed until 2 in the afternoon!  Glorious!  Today I pretty much slept from 12:30 pm till 6pm.  Sleeping tonight should be interesting...

I went on a 4-hour hike with my landlord this week up to the glacier.  It was beautiful.  The trail was in the forest for the most part, so it was very green, very cold, and very buggy.  We decided to go "off-roading" (aka off the trail) and got to the lake.  It was crazy to see so many icebergs in the lake!  She started telling me about the resident wolf, Romeo, who lives in that area.  Romeo is a lone wolf (which is very unusual), so when people bring their dogs, Romeo comes out to play.  However, when people bring their yip-yap dogs, Romeo likes to take them away for a snack.  We didn't get to see Romeo, but we saw animal trails (I kept telling myself they were Romeo's and not the probable bear trail).  There were parts of the hike we were climbing straight up and down, climbing on the side of rocks to not fall into the lake, and sliding down the mountain on our bums getting filthy dirty.  So much fun!  I was sore and so tired after - more nap time!

Work continues to be a challenge, but I think it is getting a little bit better.  When I left on Tuesday, we had six kids, and three of them are leaving by the end of the week.  However, when I went in for staff meeting today, we had three new kids show up.  I guess it's just going to be a continual thing - no rest for the weary!  I am thinking about moving to a different house that has a lot more structure.  At the new house, the kids know that if they mess up, they will go to jail for a very long time, so they are more likely to comply with staff.  So I'm going to be picking up some shifts when I can and just check out the house, so I'll see.  Who knows?  

I love the emails and love the phone calls - keep them up!  I live off them!  I still miss you all and love you!

Blessings!

I Still Miss You!

Two days off...It was wonderful.  I relaxed, didn't worry about the kids at work, caught up on some emails (still a ton to go - thanks to all who have written - I will write you back!), caught up on phone calls, and found I was missing home all the more.

A friend emailed me this week and said that she understood the struggle with moving away from home.  She said that the hardest time

s for her was when she knew what the people at home were doing at that moment.  I can totally relate.  I called my house on Father's day, and just wanted to be there.  I wanted to be with the people that love me; with the people I could hug without them thinking I was some sort of psycho; to just be in the same room as the people I love and I know. 

It's the love that I miss.  I sit here crying (I know - me cry?  It's alright - I'll be fine;-) ) as I write this and just picture the faces of the people I know and love: Mom, Dad, Lin and Kev, The Grandparents, the Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, best friend, my church family, my Engstrom family, and the countless others.  Know you are al

l so close to my heart, and that I love you all.  I miss your beautiful faces and your loving smiles.  I miss your hugs!  I long for a familiar face - a loving face.  The parents are coming soon - I can't wait for that!

God is still good though.  The Psalms are great to read when I feel like this - the authors were able to get those thoughts down on paper so eloquently - so perfectly.  I am thankful to be here and thankful for the struggles and the challenges I go through daily.  I am learning to trust more and more.  I am learning to live - learning to feel, and that is a good thing!  

It is so beautiful up here.  I went on a really long walk today and was amazed by 

God's craftsmanship.  No one can compare!  Though I may not thank Him enough for the beautiful sunsets, the countless animals, the green trees and plants everywhere, He is faithful.  And that is the best kind of love.  I know I can count on Him and trust Him.  My God is GREAT!

I love you all and look forward to all your emails!  

Blessings!

Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

It has been a rough, eventful week!  But I'm still smiling - God is still good!

I have realized many things this week.  I have realized I like working with a few troubled kids instead of ten at once.  I have realized I love structure, and that it is very hard to live and work in a place without structure.  I have learned that trying to reason with a kid that has Oppositional Defiant Disorder is like talking physics to a brick wall.  I have learned that sitting in your car at 12:30 in the morning shaking is a great workout (more on that later).  I have learned that bears like trash cans and compost piles, but are still respecting me enough to not show up when I'm around.  I have learned that when your car horn randomly goes off at 2 in the morning, you should pop the hood and disconnect the battery and leave it until the morning.  I have learned that LOVE is an important and vital part of living - when it's not there, it's really hard to function.

Cornerstone needs prayer.  The kids that are living there now have so much to learn about life, respect, and love - I don't know how it will be possible.  Maybe for some of them, it won't be possible for them to live a normal life.  My part is setting a good example for them, setting some limits, and being available to them when they need someone.  It is really hard to grasp the fact that my staff and I are the ONLY people in the world who care enough for these kids to help them.  We have a 12 year old in right now whose mom dropped him off and said, "I can't deal with him.  You keep him for three days - I'll be back Monday to see how he's doing."  The poor kid was scared to death!  I took him under my wing, and he asked me so many questions about what was going to happen to him.  Most of the kids at cornerstone are between 14 and 17 and they have multiple charges (misdemeanors and felony) and have the mouth of an outhouse.  This poor 12 year old is being corrupted, I just know it.  But we made dinner and brownies for the kids, and have good conversations.  Sadly, I can see how much influence the older kids have on him.  Hopefully he won't be too heavily influenced.

Like I said in an earlier blog, my first day was last Thursday, and since, I have worked and learned tons of valuable information.  But I still don't feel comfortable by myself and doing my job fully - I don't feel like I have the support or knowledge to deal properly with the kids.  I still divert many of the questions to my other staff.  The kids push every limit and every button known to man.  I'm on edge for eight hours straight, and it's hard to put it from my mind.  So when I get off work, I go to my car and shake and sweat until I can drive.  It's funny.  I play it off really well while I'm at work - my fight system is working well!  But when I get to the end of the day, my body says, "Enough!!!  You're done!"  It's a good workout! :-)

Funny story.  Last night, I got back from work last night and woke up my roommate.  She and I were sitting on her bed talking, and I hear a car horn go off.  I look out my window, and my car horn decided it would be good to spaz out at 1:30 in the morning.  I run down to the car, but I have no clue what to do.  I'm pushing every button I can find, turn on the car, turn off the car, drive the car on the driveway, etc. and nothing is working!  My roommate calls a friend and he says to disconnect the battery.  Great idea!  Problem is I can't find the hood opener!  I'm searching for the hood opener, looking in the manuel and finally find it.  I push the button, it unlocks, but it won't open.  I'm laughing and feeling so bad for the neighbors at this point.  I try to find the hook under the hood that opens the hood, and finally find it, cutting my fingers in the process.  Great - the hood is open!  Now what?  I try to unscrew the negative side of the battery, and it's not budging.  I run upstairs to the apartment to find a wrench, and notice that it is 2 in the morning - the horn has been going nonstop for 1/2 hour!  I run down, and try to unscrew the battery.  I succeed, and then drop the screw.  I can't find it - it's dark (side note here - it gets dark dark in Alaska around 1:45-2:45 in the morning.  Good to know...).  The horn has stopped (yay!) but the cable is still connected to the battery.  If the car moves, the horn goes off again.  The hood is open, the driver and passenger side door is open, the gas door is open (like I said, I pushed every button) and the trunk is open.  So I grab the cable from the battery to pull it off completely.  I start pulling, the horn starts going off again, and then the alarm system starts going off!  (It's really loud, by the way).  I finally get everything disconnected, and all is quiet.  So funny!

This morning, I came down to apologize to my landlords for the noise last night, and they said they didn't hear a thing - not sure how that's possible, but I was thankful!  So Mark (landlord) and Darren (Mark's son) fixed my car this morning - I'm so thankful for them!  

I continue to love the beauty here.  There are tulips everywhere here - simply amazing.  

Thank you for sending me emails and calling me - I will work to respond to them all.  Keep them coming - I love hearing about what's going on back home!  I love you and miss you!

Blessings!

Hold on Tight!!!

I finally got to go to work today - oh my goodness...HELP!!!!  Just kidding - it wasn't that bad.  There is just a ton of stuff for me to learn, and when I have to learn it in the midst of working with 10 delinquent, drug addict/mental health kids in crisis, it just complicates matters.  Being the new gal means the kids push boundaries with me, learn my style, and make everyone's lives hellish.  Fun, you say?  Oh yes it is!  

I walked into work today to find out that three kids got arrested and taken to jail the night before, so the whole house was upset and hyper from that incident.  I find out later that all three of these kids are going to be returning to the house tomorrow.  Not fun.  Because of the incident, the whole house was put on refocus.  Refocus means that no one gets any privileges, free time, TV time, music, or anything.  This doesn't make the kids happy, and the staff gets to deal with them unhappy.  

My job today was just to be another staff on the floor and interact with the kids.  The problem is that the kids don't want to talk, play games, or do anything - they only want to get out of Cornerstone.  I spent a lot of the day just hanging out on a couch watching the kids interact with each other while the other staff members worked on intaking new kids and figuring out how to deal with last nights issues.  Ha!  Nothing like jumping in head first!

My whole way to work, I just prayed.  I have no idea how to help these kids!  I realize that I can't even begin to do anything until they want to help themselves, but there are very few times I have truly felt this helpless.  Seriously.  First of all, these kids are teens, so that in and of itself is reason for disrespect, breaking the rules, etc.  But when you add the drugs, alcohol, and the backgrounds these kids come from, it is no wonder it is so hard to help them.  Many of them don't even care if they make it to the next day.  That's hard to deal with!  I know it will get better as time goes on and I learn more about how to do my job.  But for now it is hard.  

I got my first sickness here in Juneau two days ago, and am still fighting it.  It's something like allergies, and I've heard that everyone who moves to Juneau gets it within their first week.  Bummer!  Oh, and I got my first (of many, I'm sure) mosquito bite.  They're buggers here...

As I read over this post, I realize that it is so sad and depressing - please don't think that that is my life here!  Life is good and God is great!  I'm meeting more and more people, getting enough sleep (yay!), and getting familiar for the area.  I think I could even be a tour guide now, so if any of you want to come up, I'll show you around!

Thank you for the prayers and the love - I'm really going to be needing it!  I love you and miss you all!

Blessings!

We're Going on a Bear Hunt...

A week down!  I can't believe it!  A lot has happened this week, so I'll try to get it all (or most of it) here. 

On Thursday, I went with a friend of Bri's aunt (Pam) whale watching.  It was pretty cool, not gonna lie.  We saw about four humpback whales and they were so close to the boat!  They showed their tales as they dove down, and the guide people gave us all their names.  One of the fun things about these humpbacks was that most of them were born in Maui (my home last summer).  It was so good to hear the guides talking about some of the places that I know so well on that island (shout out to my Maui friends!!!).  Anyways, here are a couple pictures from that.

After whale watching, we went to one of Pam's friends house for dinner.  Here's a story for you:  Her house is literally the LAST house on the road.  So you drive forever down the only road in Juneau and turn on a dirt road.  This dirt road leads you to the middle of the forest to this cottage house (way cute, by the way).  We go in, smell some amazing food being cooked, and start talking to Michelle (the lady who lives there).  She says, "It was so fun today - we had some bears in our back yard this morning!  They were so cute!"  I thought to myself, "Stop right there.  No bears!  I don't want the bears here - not near me."  So then Michelle asks if we wanted to go for a walk.  I politely declined, since there were bears in her backyard that morning.  We had some Alaskan King Salmon for dinner that was caught less than 48 hours previous.  I know, you're jealous, and you should be - it was incredible!!!  So afterwards, we decide to go to Eagle beach.  Eagle beach is this beach where the bald eagles live.  Fishermen take their scraps to this beach, throw it out, and the eagles flock to eat.  So we bring the salmon head and fins and throw them out on the beach.  I'm thinking, "The eagles are all in bed (it's about 9:45 pm at this point - the pictures are also taken at that time - notice the light), and there's salmon out on the beach.  The bears are sure to come, and we'll all be dead.  Lord, help us!"  After waiting for a bit, we go back in the car, and she turns the wrong direction to go home.  Where were we going, you ask?  Everyone (except me) decides it would be a good idea to go look for bears.  Psycho's, I know.  But we did.  First of all, why would anyone in their right mind actually GO LOOKING for bears?  It must be an Alaskan thing...Long story short, we didn't see any, and I got home really late that night.  But what a cool night!

Went to church today.  I've been looking forward to it all week long.  The church I went to is called Auke Bay Bible Church.  It's a very cute church, and I think I'm going to like it.  I have to play around with my work schedule a little bit to see if I can get involved in some of the young adult activities, but overall, it seems like a sound church.  And it has a deaf ministry!!!  I was excited to see that...maybe I can get involved in that...There were many young people there, so I think it's going to be good.  Keep that in your prayers.

Training for work is Monday and Tuesday, and then my first day at the house is on Thursday.  I'm so ready to get started and have something to do with all this free time.  But I am a bit nervous.  I'll let you know how it goes...

Thanks for all your comments, love, and prayers.  Keep them coming!

Blessings!

10417 Fox Farm Trail, Juneau, AK 99801

My new mailing address!  It would be in the care of the Harris family, but there it is!

I arrived here last night after an eight-hour trip.  It was so strange to me to land at an airport at 9:45 pm and it still being so light outside!  It didn't get dark until a little before 11 - this is going to take some getting used to!

It was so good to step off the plane and see a familiar, jumping, smiling friend.  My life here officially started!  I was so tired after going through an incredibly emotional day and then traveling, but as soon as she started talking a mile a minute, I woke right up.  Wow - I'm really doing this!

We got to our place.  It's super cute!  There is not much furniture yet, but we're slowly taking care of that.  I don't have a bed yet, so we had a slumber party in Bri's room.  We didn't go to bed until about 1:30 am Juneau time, which is 2:30 Ca time.  Yes, by the time we went to bed, the sun was down.  However, when I woke up at 5:30 Juneau time, the sun was up, and it looked like it was 10 in the morning - I'm going to have to get used to this too...

I got to see our backyard for the real first time this morning.  We are literally up against the forrest (this is for you, Lisa!).  That's what the picture is of - the backyard.  The beauty is amazing, yet I can't help but miss having cars go down my street at home, the buildings, the smog, the traffic - and I haven't even been here a full day!  

The sun peeks out every once and a while and there are patches of blue sky peeking out behind the clouds.  I love it!  It's about 56 outside my door right now, and I'm ready to open all the windows!  

I can't help but question what God has in store for me here.  It is so different from all that I am used to, and I feel like a fish out of water.  I don't feel like I'm prepared for anything I'm here for, and have second thoughts about moving.  But I am hopeful.  Psalm 55 says to cast ALL your anxieties on the LORD and his promise is that he won't let the righteous fall.  Even in my anxiety, my God is a sustaining God.  He want's he here for such a time as this (that's somewhere in Ruth...) and I need to be obedient.  It's hard, but it's a great adventure.

I miss home terribly, and all of you there!  Keep the emails coming - I will do my best to get back to you!  Love love love!

Blessings