I have a lot of time to think when I work weekend graves here at Cornerstone. So many questions pop in my mind: are there bears right outside my door? Are the kids in their rooms or sneaking out? Did the clock stop or is it really still 1:45 am? Why can't I go outside and play in the rain? Do people really read these blogs? Am I really so exciting that four different guys want to pursue me? What is going to keep me busy for the next six hours? Should I sleep tomorrow or watch the Olympics? After all, they're only on every four years. Am I loosing my mind?
Forgive me if this blog is a bit scattered...I'm trying really hard just to keep my eyes open...
My main purpose for this blog is this: I've been reading the "Mark of the Lion" series by Francine Rivers for the seventh or eighth time. (Side note. If you haven't read these books, borrow or buy them and read them. Seriously. They'll change your life - quite possibly some of the best books I have ever read in my life.) In the first book, there is this quote: "Jesus forgave the thief, but he didn't take him down off the cross." I never caught the significance of that statement until I read the book this time. I read it about two weeks ago, and I am still mulling over it. I am not even sure what I want to write here - still so many thoughts regarding it.
I looked up the verses where the thief and Jesus had this interaction. It's in Luke 23.42-43. Basically, one thief is insulting Jesus, while the other says, "Shut up! This guy has done nothing wrong, unlike SOMEONE else I know" (courtesy Laurie paraphrasing). Then the second thief asks Jesus to remember him. Jesus responds by saying, "I tell you the truth, today you WILL be with me in paradise". (That's not Laurie paraphrasing...that's the real deal.) The way I see it, Jesus had two choices. One, he could have said, "Yay! You finally got it! Go ahead and get down off that cross - you don't have to die today. Go tell everyone the truth about me." Instead, he chose option two - let the natural consequences play out, but all the while reassuring the thief about where he stands. At that moment in the thief's life, the thief realized the consequences of the choices he made. He asked for forgiveness, and was granted it. He didn't ask to be taken off the cross. It's as if he accepted the consequences. Maybe I'm way off...
(In case you were wondering, the kids are all sleeping in their beds...no problems so far.)
After thinking about that, I started thinking about the kids at work. They miss this concept! Well, they miss a lot more, but this can be said of normal everyday happenings. I see it a lot with these kids. Or rather, I see them almost to the point of the thief. They ask forgiveness for the stupid things they do (and trust me - they do A LOT of stupid things...) from all the staff, from JPD, from their probation officers, etc. Sometimes, these people do "forgive" the kids - they give them another chance - they take them off the cross. The majority of the time, however, we let the natural consequences occur. We may forgive them, but we leave them hanging on the cross. It sounds so cruel. But sometimes the best way to help the kids is to let them hurt; let them go to jail; let them be sick because the drug they took is making their system go haywire. Again, I may be way off base...
When I look at my own life, I see the many many times I have begged for forgiveness - from parents, friends, family, God - and they have graciously given it to me. But I am still left hanging on my cross - the one I put myself on. "Jesus forgave the thief, but he didn't take him down off the cross." It's what we as humans want. We want a life free of the pain we bring on ourselves. But sometimes God doesn't work that way. At least not in my life. Does he forgive us? Absolutely. Does he still love us? Unconditionally. Does he hurt with us? I think he does. Remember - the thieves weren't the only ones on the cross...
Again, maybe I am so far off - it is 2:45 am now. I'd like to hear your thoughts.
I miss you all still! Hope you are doing great! Love you!
Blessings!
5 comments:
d#1 - I think you should sleep and not watch the Olympics. You won't enjoy it as much without me! (I haven't been able to watch them either =(
#2 - If only we would look to Christ before doing our actions "WWJD" then we wouldn't have to be asking for forgiveness and "hanging on our crosses". He really is the solution to a lot of heart aches.
#3 - Call me, I'd like an update on the fishing!
i'm reading and thankful for the things you teach me.
haha...Oh Laurie and playing in the rain, that totally made me smile. And, just for the record, you are so amazing that any guy would be pretty foolish not to pursue you...At least, that's my opinion, haha...I loved your insight. Thanks. It's true, sometimes we have to own up to things before we can truly grow...Otherwise circumstances repeat themselves and we end up right where we started. keep writing. I love reading it all, and you now have me wanting to visit Alaska when I've never thought of going there before...haha...Just wait until I have a job and some money...I'll be there in a heart beat...haha :)
we need more conversations at 2 am.
First off let me tell you that I love you lots!! Second, I'll start planning a trip with Kevin, Mama, and Daddy to interview these guys. Whole nine yards here, portable dark room with metal desk and chair complete with a spotlight to shine in their faces. ^_^ Third, I like your insights. I've never thought about it that way. It makes perfect sense. Finally, I check this blog almost daily! Reading about all you're doing is the highlight of my day, so p.s. you should update all the time!!!! Love you and miss you!
142 days 'till January!!!!
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